This week's debut of the first official "Iron Man 2" poster impressed a lot of fans by showcasing Tony Stark's latest duds back-to-back with James Rhodes' righteous War Machine armor.
Generally speaking, fans seem to have responded well to what appear to be two pretty spot-on comic book adaptations modernized for a contemporary movie-going audience. It's a good thing too, because not every outfit that's rolled out of Stark's lab has necessarily met present-day cinematic specifications. As brilliant as the many versions of Tony Stark have been over the years, his fashion sense hasn't always been in line with the summer of 2010.
Continue reading for a glimpse of armors that aren't — and likely will never be — ready for the big screen.
HEROES REBORN
Everyone likes Jim Lee, but his "Heroes Reborn" Iron Man redesign circa 1996 had some less-than-practical extremities (crazy back vent tubes, meshy underarmor) and an overall beefiness that might displace the more grounded elements of the Iron Man movieverse.
It's not that he'd look totally out of place, it's just that... Okay, he would look totally out of place.
IRON NAZI
In an alternate future where a robot called Mainframe acts as the world's Iron Man, an evil cat from the wrong side of an alternate Earth's history sports a black-and-red suit of armor as the "Iron Nazi."
Don't worry, like all alternate universe Nazis he gets handed a brutal defeat — in this case, by the future children of Captain America, Ant Man and Wasp, and Juggernaut.
IRON MOUSE
Six months ago, any comic fan worth their weight in Mylar bags would have said this version of Iron Man from the "Spider-Ham" universe would be a cinematic impossibility. But now with Disney poised to fully incorporate Marvel on December 31...
Well, at least Paramount's in charge of the films for the immediate future.
IRON MAIDEN
No, we're not talking about the metal band with the awesome horror imagery — this is the liquid metal-encased servant of The Skull in Alex Ross and Jim Krueger's alternate "Earth-X" universe. This thought-activated armor changed shape to suit Iron Maiden's weapon needs, becoming guns, swords and other objects in addition to granting the power of flight.
With a female symbol imprinted on its chest, few can argue it's not well labeled, but most would agree that it's far less practical to incorporate into the "Iron Man" films than, say, the "Rescue" armor that writer Matt Fraction has Pepper Potts sporting lately in the "Invincible Iron Man" comics.
IRON LANTERN
When Marvel and DC merged their universes for the "Amalgam" specials of the mid '90s, nobody could have foreseen the two characters that made up "Iron Lantern" becoming A-listers with viable major motion picture franchises 15 years later. With "Iron Man 2" arriving this summer and Ryan Reynolds' "Green Lantern" slated for a 2011 release, fusing the two film franchises could be everyone in Hollywood's fever dream.
As crazy as it would be, it's not entirely unprecedented. Remember all the Looney Tunes cameos in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Maybe Warner Bros. and Disney (and Paramount) could one day team up to fuse franchises into unstoppable cinematic monsters.
Or not.
Which Iron Man armors do you think are beyond the big screen? Share your favorites in the comment section or on Twitter!