By Brian Phares
Our Catwoman coverage continues! There have been a lot of spoilers leaking from the set of “The Dark Knight Rises.” A lot. Anne Hathaway (and, arguably, Christopher Nolan) caused a great many fans to go up in arms over the reveal of the Catwoman suit back in August. The reception was generally negative, to be sure. Back then we analyzed the bejeezus out of Selina Kyle's new getup, and now we’ve gotten our hands on some more recent photos of the feline fatale. So, without further ado, I bring you: Round 2!
The Claws
Last time I checked, my cat had claws, and any time I piss her off she tears me a new one. So I’m curious: Why does this cat not have any? If what Anne Hathaway says is true, then we haven’t seen one tenth of what her suit can do, leading me to my newest theory: retractable claws!
The Ears
Our previous coverage of our leather clad feline friend had us scratching our heads. What happened to her ears? Every Catwoman since the dawn of DC had a set of cute little cat ears to match her demure looks. Well we now have our answer: they’re back! But what’s gone missing is her controversial goggles. Could they be one in the same?
The Belt
Just like the Bats, Catwoman is rocking a hefty-looking utility belt. In fact, it may be even bigger than Batman’s don't-call-it-a-fanny-pack pack. What dark weapons of sorcery could she be packing in there? And is that an iPhone I spy right in the center? All joking aside, I really hope she has a collapsible whip in there somewhere, because she just seems naked without it.
The Stilettos
Catwoman has always rocked heels, but these are seriously high. I think she would have trouble just walking down stairs, let alone hopping from building to building. But let’s be real, this is Catwoman, and she can do whatever she wants. Notice those steel tips? I wonder if these heavy metal stilettos can chop me up some pico de gallo, and deliver one whopping roundhouse kick to the face. I’d like to see the Ginsu knife do that!
The Hair
I don’t know if Catwoman got the memo, but generally it’s not a bright idea to bring long hair to a fight. I’ve seen it go wrong many a time in my high school cafeteria, and I’m willing to bet if a bad guy would punch a woman in face, he wouldn’t think twice about pulling her hair. Not to mention, where is Catwoman’s kitty cowl? At least put it in a bun!