The 2013 MTV Movie Awards are this Sunday, April 14th. The fate of one category, Best Hero, rests in your social-media-savvy hands. But there isn't much of a choice in this category — at least not according to Splash Page writer Josh Wigler.
What's got two thumbs, a multi-billion-dollar corporation to his name, a secret lair and arsenal of highly sophisticated anti-crime technology, and is the Best Hero of the year?
The answer, unfortunately, is not "this guy," as much as I'd like it to be. Instead, I'm throwing all of my hero worship behind the Batman, easily the most deserving candidate in the Best Hero category at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards.
"Why is Batman the Best Hero," you ask? Really? We have to answer that question? We'll limit ourselves to ten responses, otherwise we would be here all day.
1. He has a Bat Cave and you do not.
2. He has a butler with rubies the size of tangerines.
3. After seven years of doing absolutely nothing, he got off the couch and back into the crime-fighting game without missing a step. (Well, maybe a few steps. But a hero can't rise without an epic fall, right?)
4. He has the best villains of anyone else nominated for Best Hero — and no hero is complete without super-bad jerks to smash.
5. He doesn't need a team of superheroes to back him up in his darkest hour, like Iron Man and Hulk. But if he wants a superhero team, they're probably just a few years away.
6. He doesn't show up and decide to be a good guy in the eleventh hour like some "heroes." Bats is a lifelong stand-up dude.
8. Did we mention the Bat Cave? We did? How about his motorcycle-launching tank and his aerial assault vehicle? Did we mention those?
9. He does not need superpowers to turn your face into paste. Just a whole lot of money, years of secret ninja training, and a life-time of dark, vengeful thoughts.
10. He's not wearing hockey pads.
So unless you hate justice, do yourself a favor and #VoteBatman today. He is not the hero you deserve, but he is certainly the one most deserving of your support.
You can vote for your favorite hero by including the following hashtags in your tweets on Twitter or captions on Instagram: #votebatman - #votebilbo - #votecatwoman - #votehulk - #voteironman - #votesnowwhite